February 11, 2018

Lauren Galli

Galli Gripes: Stop Faking the Funk


If I had a dollar for every time I have wanted to delete my Facebook profile, I would be a very wealthy woman.  Working in social media has made that impossible, so I suck it up and do very little personal Facebooking. When I see a newsfeed crowded with outrageous political opinions or inaccurate, false statements littered with poor grammar, I want to throw my laptop across the room.  The absolute worst of all types of people and statuses, though, are those who fake it!

Facebook has become the new high school reunion. You know what I mean.  You can’t wait to show up at your reunion to display how successful you’ve become or show off your ridiculously hot spouse. However, one thing must be in place for this to work – and that’s actualizing success or truly having a smoking hot husband.  Except on Facebook, because it’s a place where you can just pretend that your life is amazing.

We’ve become a group reenacting the diner scene from When Harry Met Sally. We are fakes!  We post photos of ourselves with smooth filters to make us look like we haven’t aged a day since 1998, when reality is that our skin resembles an old leather suitcase.  We post smoochy selfies with a spouse we can’t stand, brag about kids who we are total brats, and snap a quick pic at the gym for when we later shovel McDonald’s fries in our face at the drive-thru.

My advice?  Knock it the hell off.  Keep it real.  Let the world know that your children are behaving like they were raised by wolves… and you’re frustrated.  If your husband hasn’t helped with housework in over a year, don’t post lengthy statuses with amazement, at how amazing he is. And, if you’re struggling with your weight, I will be the first tell you that it’s OK not to pretend otherwise. Be real about your life, including your faults. The truth is, everyone’s life sucks a little bit.  No one gets everything right. I’m not saying bitch about every little thing. I’m saying, forget the filter. Show your belly – and your pride in it (or not). Talk about your kids acting out and ask your friends if they want a play date!

I try to put things out there. You never know when your story could help someone else; when simple and honest words could reach someone who is at the end of their rope.  Let people know that they’re not alone in the world.  Keep. It. Real.

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