This past Saturday marked six weeks since I’ve embarked on a journey that included moving two hours away from my home in Harrisburg – and to be on my own for the first time in my life. I’ve left behind my spouse, my family and my friends.
I had a seemingly happy life in Harrisburg. In fact, many thought it was perfect. Because of this, there are often a myriad of questions that ensue when folks learn of my life transition. I’ve found it difficult to answer these questions with authenticity as major changes require navigating so many personal unknowns. For me, I took a leap of faith in pursuit of a different life.
I received a lot of pushback, especially from those close me. I have to laugh at the number of times folks repeated the adage, ‘the grass isn’t greener on the other side.’ And, I literally laugh because if I don’t, I let their words penetrate me and I become paralyzed by fear. Without a doubt, this change has been scary as hell.
And it’s not over. This journey has no finite ending. In fact, I may not even know when I’ve officially reached the ‘other side.’ But, when you think about it… other than death, there’s no real finish line on the journey of life.
There are times when I realize I’ve made things harder than they needed to be. Anyone who knows me, though, can tell you that I don’t tread lightly. Truthfully, the past six weeks – and the weeks leading up to it – have been strenuous and taxing. I’ve had to maintain a ‘just keep swimming’ mentality.
While it’s been difficult, I don’t regret this decision. To the contrary, this change came to fruition because I no longer wanted to live a life of regret. I made the commitment to stop making decisions based on fear or guilt; to stop with excuses and to take risks for a greater end result. Some consider my actions careless, but others courageous. I can only speak for myself on the matter and I believe this change – any change – is necessary for growth. I’m not sure if ultimate happiness exists, but damn, I’ll die trying to find it.