I’ve been at a loss for writing inspiration lately. I usually have a lot to say, so this is unfamiliar territory for me. As I think about why I’m feeling this way, I consider that my nearly two years in business has left me exhausted. In fact, I haven’t taken a full day off since I started the business.
Budding entrepreneurs sometimes ask me if I would start my business again, knowing what I know now. I hesitate for a moment before responding because I don’t want to discourage them.
For the record, I don’t regret starting my business. I didn’t know who I really was until I became a business owner and that’s an honest statement. But I might have thought twice had I known how much work it was going to be, and how much of a challenge it continues to be.
Entrepreneurship has interesting cycles. For me, I started a business to release the shackles of the daily grind, only to end up holding myself hostage to my own company. But, at least it’s on my own terms. It’s ironic, but it’s also liberating. I know the buck stops with me so I don’t mind putting in the extra hours.
But, there are times when I also don’t know how to stop. I tell myself, ‘sure I can do it,’ while I trudge through yet another task. The driven, over-achieving spirit of the entrepreneur wants to embrace every opportunity and will sometimes struggle with saying, ‘no.’
That’s ironic, too, because even when I achieve success, I find that ‘good’ just isn’t enough. It has to be better, the best, even perf…. Ok I’m going to stop there before I open Pandora’s Box.
This whole process is a search for balance. Business owners wear many hats while attempting to have a personal life. I admit that I have allowed my personal life to take a back seat these past two years. I love what I do, so it’s easy for me to blur the line between ‘work’ and ‘life,’ but my husband reminds me that we work to live – we don’t live to work. Ok, ok! Just let me check my email… one… last… time!
And it’s back to center to try to find balance again. I’m happy my business is where it is, but I’m still struggling with balance. It’s another stage of business – and an even tougher one - because I’m afraid if I let up, everything will crumble.
As it turns out, I guess I’m not at a loss for words. Maybe I just needed to a break and a chance to recharge my batteries in order to write something that’s meaningful to me (and hopefully for you, too).
How do you find balance?