Back in June, I lost my mom. In August, my dad was diagnosed with heart failure at age 68. While his condition isn’t curable, it can be managed with the right care. Unfortunately, living on his own in rural Perry County, he is far from his doctors and from us.
So, my husband Nathan and I have been house hunting for a new home…for us and my dad.
We never planned to move anytime soon. Nathan and I have poured years of energy into our Harrisburg townhome. New kitchen, flooring, deck, doors—you name it, we probably tackled it. The home was a gift in many ways. His parents had owned it before they passed away, and we eventually bought it from them. It’s close to Nathan’s work and easy to maintain. However, as life has shown me again and again, plans don’t always hold.
This time, life said, “Dad needs you.”
The Challenge of Finding the Right Fit
House hunting within the usual parameters is tough enough. The search becomes even more challenging when you add in the need for a main floor bedroom, a bathroom with a walk-in shower, three bedrooms, ideally three baths, and enough privacy to give Dad the rural feel he’s used to. We wanted to stay in the Harrisburg area so Nathan could still walk to work, but the options that fall between the cross-section of “adequately private” and “convenient” (a nearly elusive balancing act) are few.
Persistence and Preparation Matter
Early in the search, I found a house I loved. The problem? No one would answer our inquiries about it. We nicknamed it The Ghost House.
I called, emailed, had my agent call, and even drove by. Nothing. Still, something about it nagged at me. After weeks of looking at other homes and feeling discouraged, I left one more message. This time, I explained my situation: my dad’s health, my search, and the fact that I was pre-approved and ready.
It worked. The owner called me back the same day. Not only did we finally tour the house, but we also had the first crack at it before anyone else. In the end, we decided it wasn’t the right fit, but persistence opened a door that had been closed for weeks.
I also learned that you have to be ready because the real estate market moves fast. I subscribed to every alert I could find, and my agent set me up on the MLS. Then, I saw a “coming soon” listing that checked all our boxes, and I scheduled a tour of the home for the very first morning it went live rather than waiting for its open house. I even asked my agent to draft an offer just in case it was “the one.”
Sure enough, we loved it - and we put our offer in! This triggered the seller’s agent to set a deadline of 7 p.m. the next day for all offers to be submitted. Only one other buyer was in the mix, and she felt rushed, so she dropped out of the running.
The moral of the story: Persistence pays, and preparation exponentially improves your chances.
A Crash Course in Lending
While persistence is about following through with the chase, working through the lending process requires navigating a learning curve.
We entered the scene pre-approved, which gave us the ability to make quick offers on homes that we liked. But then came the crash course in rates, fees, points, and closing costs. Rates can change daily--and they did, not in our favor.
Fees were often vague, points were confusing, and calculators’ results didn’t always match what we were told in emails. Sometimes points were “optional,” and sometimes they weren’t. At times, it seemed like piecing together a puzzle without the picture on the box.
In the end, we found a lender who made things simple, but not before learning firsthand why buying a house is often called one of life’s most stressful experiences.
The Inspection Reality
Then there are inspections.
With the Ghost House, visible issues made contingencies a must. With the second home, we still pushed for inspections because there’s simply too much you don’t know. Two HVAC systems, a pool, multiple floors—I couldn’t imagine waiving anything, even though many people did during the pandemic when the market was cutthroat.
Inspections aren’t cheap, and they’re time-sensitive. Reports come back long and detailed, which can feel overwhelming. But being thorough matters. With the house we’re pursuing now, we feel fortunate that the sellers seem reasonable and even offered a carpet reimbursement upfront. That’s rare, and it gives us some hope.
The Road Ahead
This process is far from over.
If we close, we’ll have major work ahead of us before moving in. Painting, recarpeting, and repairing Dad’s quarters will all need to be done. To give him access, we’ll need to extend the asphalt from the driveway to the pool entrance, racing the clock before it gets too cold and wintry weather arrives. Meanwhile, we’ll need to put our house on the market, move Dad, and help him downsize his collection of personal property, which he has accumulated over his 38 years in Perry County.
It will be a marathon, not a sprint. But it will be worth it. Dad won’t be isolated. He’ll be closer to his doctors and closer to us. And maybe, come summer, he’ll even get a little water exercise.
If all goes well, by November 7th, Dad will have a new home—and so will we.
Final Takeaway
If there’s one thing this journey has taught me, it’s that buying a home is less about the bricks and mortar and more about persistence, preparation, and patience.
You can’t control the market, but you can control your readiness. And when the process feels overwhelming, the best thing you can do is take the next step anyway.
For me, this search isn’t just about finding a house. It’s about creating a safe, connected place for Dad. And that’s worth every inspection, every confusing rate sheet, and every late-night search alert.
