Beauty Fixes… Without Surgery!

PODCAST TRANSCRIPT

Welcome to episode 19 of the Light Her

Project Podcast.

Real Women.

Real talk.

I'm Rachel Strella.

and I'm Vixen Divine.

Thank you so much for tuning in today.

Today's topic is beauty fixes without

surgery.

So believe it or not, this is our final

episode of season one of the podcast.

So sad, so sad.

So we decided that we discussed this topic

because our first very first podcast on

body image was our most popular episode.

Very fitting, right?

Yep, most people want to know about that.

This topic is right up your alley, Vixen.

Given your expertise as a licensed

esthetician and massage therapist, you are

also in the nursing industry, right?

Yep, yep, did a lot of that.

All right, well, dive right in because I

know we've got a lot of expertise to share.

So let's start out with our personal

experiences.

You know, for me, as I age, this topic

becomes more and more relevant.

And as a woman, there are always things

that bother me.

So we started this whole podcast I opened

up about getting plastic surgery and how

painful and ultimately unhelpful it was.

So I'm always open to learning about ways

that we can improve ourselves without the need for surgery.

Yeah, if surgery is, I always feel like

surgery should be a last resort or the

beginning of someone who's very, very

determined and directed.

That should never be taken lightly.

There should be like a lot of aftercare

planned if you decide to do that, go that way.

But for personal experiences and, you

know, we talked about body images and that sort of thing, I

I think I have shared previously that I

have always been conscious of my body

image because I was, you know, in

pageantry.

I was a model.

So it was it was all about image, what you

look like, how you stood, how you presented yourself.

It was always about that.

Even, yeah, good grades in school, got

good grades in school.

Very, very good.

I just happened to be smart in that way.

But at that same time then it was also that

kind of side thing about that.

So I've always been conscious of that.

So at an early age, I was always able to

start learning about makeup, skincare,

that sort of thing.

So then it kind of went into that

profession that, but then caring about

your body as you do it, cause I know

you've all seen some fails, just basic

fails, just looking at like, why did you

do that?

So, there's a lot to be said on this topic.

Well, for me, I mean, I've already

answered this question, but is it positive

or negative to go the route of

non-surgical solutions?

You know, and I, for me, I know, I think

anytime you can avoid surgery, the better.

I don't know if you want to expand on that

anymore.

Yeah, well, here's the thing about

non-surgical solutions.

Either way, honestly, surgery should be

reserved, in my opinion, should be

reserved for the person who is basically

at the end, at their wit’s end.

In other words, they weigh 500 pounds, you

know, and they're at that time when it is

like life, like you need to get this off.

But at that same time then, if you're

gonna go the surgical route, you need to

have, and this is the part that I see a

lot of people mistake.

They think it's a one and done.

There should be a lot of aftercare to make

that successful.

There's all kinds of ways this can go

really, really bad, really, really quick.

And I've seen those happen.

So as far as non-surgical and surgical,

that's...

a big difference to consider.

Also though, for non-surgical people, I

see this a lot, people mistake

non-surgical for non-invasive.

So just because you are not having surgery

does not mean it's not invasive.

There are some procedures from an

aesthetic point of view.

You can be, you can look like hamburger

meat at the end.

There is blood involved.

There's anesthesia involved.

One that comes to mind that's really,

really common is micro-needling.

Because there's different depths to it.

Literally, you can be numbed for

micro-needling and you can be bloody.

It goes in like there's different depths

to it.

So just don't mistake, just know what

you're getting into.

Non-surgical for non-invasive, that

doesn't mean the same thing.

I’m really glad you pointed that out and I'm

also really glad that you mentioned that

the surgery post-op and pre-op are very

critical because both of those were fails

for me in my surgical solution and had

they been done correctly I think the

outcome would have been a lot better.

Well, so while we're talking about

cosmetic surgery, how much cosmetic surgery is too much?

I mean, let's face it, we've all seen

those folks who have had too much.

The plucking, the celebs especially, you

know, and there’s shows dedicated to his like Botched.

You know, I think the real housewives of

Salt Lake City, the one gal owns a beauty

lab, laser place, you know, her friends

get treatments in there all the time, you

know, whatever it is that they need.

Oh, so what do you, I don't know Vixen,

how much is too much?

For the average person, the only reason we

know about celebrities, honestly, is

because they're celebrities.

People are, you know, they're taking

pictures of them all the time, but there

are plenty of botched surgeries that we are

not aware of.

Unless we're friends with the person who

got, you know, we're not in sight with the

person two towns away or whatever, we

don't see those people because paparazzi

is not following them around.

But there are, feel free to look, I always

say Google it, feel free to look it up.

There is plenty of statistics about

botched about botched surgeries.

But how much is too much for the average

person?

One to two period.

Meaning, because there's sometimes this

happens when you were growing up, oh my

God, you got so teased about your nose.

You hate your nose.

It's to you, it looks like it's from here

to two blocks over.

It's the first thing people see and you

cannot stand it.

That is a case.

That self-esteem is probably way down

about your, you know, that brings you, you

don't think you're beautiful because of

your nose.

And it's been so long.

Like that is, to me, is a case for surgery

to get your rhinoplasty done because that

will get all around, that'll just bring

your self-esteem up.

It's been so long, so many years, that

type of thing.

And then maybe if you want one other

thing, you know, something.

But that should be it for the average

regular person.

There should be no reason other than a

medical reason, like a breast reduction or something.

Other than that, just, you shouldn't get,

be getting just that done.

I agree with that.

And I, you know, I think that it can be

addicting to get surgery and you see like

a noticeable difference and like, what

else can I get done next?

That's how it is with these TV shows that

I see, you know, it's like, oh, well, that turned out great.

Now I want to get my knees done.

So, well, let's talk about let's talk

about quick fixes, because I'm guilty of this.

So the lose weight fast or take the pill a

day and you'll turn back the clock.

20 years, you know. How can you tell, you

know, a scam from what's real?

So I said, I'm guilty of this.

I get served so many ads on Facebook.

They know that what I'm looking for.

And the best way that I could tell like

something real from a scam is by reading

all the reviews and reading all the

comments, like, especially if I see a

Facebook ad, if I see, you know,

500 comments, I'm going to read through all of them.

I want to know a good, bad, and ugly.

But I won't just trust like whatever's on

their Amazon.

Like I wanna know what's being said.

That's the only way I've been able to

decipher what's the real deal and like

what's just a complete bogus scam and

you're wasting your money.

Well, even the ones that are not a waste

of money are super expensive.

Like the big one now is Ozempic or

anything like Ozempic.

It is not, it was not designated for that

originally, but all the stars and the

affluence are using it and it works.

It works, it'll set you back a whole lot

of money.

And so honestly,

it's one of those things that we know that

works because it's been in the news, we've

seen it, that sort of thing.

But when you see those ads that you're

talking about, you have to really be

prepared, look at the money back

guarantee.

Because honestly, just because, like if

I'm the person selling it, just because it

worked for me, doesn't mean it's gonna

work for you.

Our bodies are not the same.

And yes, maybe I used that, but maybe I

used something else that I didn't mention.

So yes, that was a part of it.

So basically what I'm saying is a lot of

times they're not telling the entire truth.

Um, and the black and white meaning, okay,

you take this, this is the weight you're going to lose.

There's a whole lot behind that.

So if you're looking, or if you're really

skeptical, you can read all the reviews

like you talked about, or you can just

like prepare to

But if you think it's gonna fail, just

don't buy it.

Just don't buy it.

I always just

ask you first.

I'll be like, oh, so those things people

wearing under their eyes, are gonna work for me?

Yeah, no.

Some things I see, like some things you

show me, I see.

And I'm just like, yeah, that's not going

to do anything at all.

I, you know, you're right though.

It's, it's, everyone is different.

And one of the things again, I like about

not just reviews, but reading comments on

posts is like people will be like, Oh,

that girl's like 20, 20 years old.

You know, I'm 55 and, and was it going to

work for me?

And then other people like in that age

group are going to comment and be real.

So that's what I like about reading

all the comments.

One thing to be careful of in comments

though, when you read the comments,

because I've seen this a million times, I have seen a

comment about a product that is not about the product.

The comment is one star.

Why is it one star?

It came to me broken.

Or that bottle's too small.

Or they never even tried the product.

It is not about the product at all.

But they gave it a one star because of

something else.

Or they're really happy because they had

great customer service.

Nothing to do with the product.

Right.

I know what I'm in social media, Vixen.

I could tell the difference.

So I’m doing research, my homework,

you know, I can tell.

All right, let's talk about and this is

going to be a question for you all around

Vixen, what are some valid, you know,

that you know, tried and true non surgical

options for some of the common issues that

women face things like

Sagging skin, wrinkles,

weight gain, cellulite.

That's a lot to unpack.

Well, I'll tell you one of the most

reliable, there are things that come and go.

In this industry, honestly, there's the

new, there's the newer new and there's the

newest new, honestly.

Not to say the new and the newest new are

not working, but if you're gonna pick

something that you, from here to

yesterday, till tomorrow, that you know is

going to work for sagging skin and

wrinkles, radio frequency.

On all honesty,

that's going to work.

That's going to work every single time.

Why’s that?

Because it's actually FDA approved,

believe it or not.

The radio frequency actually goes through

the skin.

It warms up the tissue, and it adds a

element of distress to the tissue

to where then they go back and they need

to repair themselves.

So when they, they're basically rebuilding

themselves.

And when they do that, of course you have

fresher skin, you have plumper skin, right?

The collagen starts to come out, but you

have to drink a million gallons of water.

You have to be hydrated, hydrated.

I'm exaggerating when I say a million, but

you have to be really, really hydrated

because it does work in conjunction with

that.

Which is not hard to do, especially if you

know you have an appointment coming up,

but radio frequency number one hands down.

That can and that can do two things there

is an element to it that can lift sagging

skin, but at a different frequency it can

also shrink your body. So that's where the

professionals come in.

You know, with that, so if you get

something, and I haven't seen anything for home use.

So if you get something for home, they

might be out there, you know, because it

comes every day, they change all the time.

If you get something for home use that is

radiofrequency, make sure it comes with

specific directions, first of all.

Don't get any radiofrequency for your

body.

If it says for your body, don't buy it,

don't.

As a lay person, do not buy that because

that is, that's way, no, don't do that.

But there may be, you know, they come out

with these little gadgets that you can use

on your face sometimes, that sort of

thing.

So if you find a little something like

that, then you can probably buy it with

because it's probably not the strength.

I would think that it would be like in my

office, but it's a little something that

gets you in between.

Same thing with cold.

Cold back in the day, years, years ago, if

you wanted your face to be lifted and stiff and like

right there, you would literally dump your

face in cold water, like ice cold water,

you dump your face in it, leave it there

so you can't breathe anymore, then you come up.

But the cold will actually, temporarily of

course, but for that day make your face nice and tight.

So along that line, cryotherapy, and

that's where that kind of thing, cryotherapy

is great for that occasion that you're

having, your family reunion, your special thing.

So if you wanna get, you can be a series

which will get you along more permanent.

But if you just need like that thing that

you're going to, that is great lifter,

great life, safe.

And that's something you can do.

They have the ice balls and they have the

little roller ice, but cold will do it, cold will do it.

Those are tried and true.

It also works with cellulite, but weight

gain.

Let me tell you about weight gain.

Weight gain is one of those things that if

you have it, and again, let's go with the family reunion.

Go into the family reunion and you have

gained a few pounds and just can't quite

get into the dress that you want to get

into.

The fastest way at home for you to do

something is, they have these things called waist snatchers.

I know.

Some people call it cinchers.

Some people call it corsets.

Some people call it that kind of thing.

But back in the day, you would actually,

they have what they call bones in them.

Like actually, they really hold you in and

they give you that appearance of.

Yeah, I mean, I've seen that.

Yes.

But you have to look around to find a good

one.

Because there's a lot of junk out there

that you'll be spilling out over here,

even though you're cinched over there.

So I advise for you to buy the ones with

the straps up top.

And it goes all the way down to the

mid-thigh.

You're completely covered.

Everything is in.

And your dress will

go on nice and smooth.

It will fall nicely.

So if you have that kind of emergency,

because there is nothing other than

surgery, and I'm telling you the truth,

ladies, there is nothing other than

surgery that is going to make you look

thinner quickly.

Wow, okay.

All right.

I mean, I've seen Scarlett O'Hara, Gone with

the Wind, they just squeeze and squeeze and squeeze.

That works

that works.

They have shapewear that claims to do that

now, but I've never tried it.

But I do see a lot of things on those ads

that go by that you can lose 10 pounds on

a weekend just by doing this cleanse or

20 pounds by Tuesday,

you know, by using this skinny thing.

So, you know, what's real, I don't know, I

haven't tried any of those.

I'll tell you what that is.

Usually that is a intestinal, basically an

intestinal dump.

So you're losing you on the scale it will

say you lost weight and you may breathe

you may feel a little lighter but it's not

going to help you get in that dress.

Mmm.

Yeah, so it's just water weight, it sounds

like.

And feces basically.

Okay, all right, so it might make you a

little less bloated, but okay.

No.

Hey, good to know because I'm always

willing to try things and now I know, stay away.

All right, so what's the optimal skincare

routine?

And you know me, if you're asking me that

question, I'm going to say soap and water.

So Vixen all you again.

Well, no, soap and water, like I think I

was saying earlier, soap and water,

there's different degrees of how bad that

could be, depending on the soap and the

water, believe it or not.

If you have hard water, like that even

makes a difference.

The type of water that you have even makes

a difference.

And the type of soap that you have, if

you're using Dove, that is one quarter moisturizing.

Or you're using Zest that's zestfully

clean.

Those are different soaps, absolutely

different soaps.

So you're probably going to look more like

a prune over here.

You're not gonna look that great over

here, but you're definitely gonna look

like a prune over here because it's just

gonna dry out more.

So, and plus depending on the water that

you have.

So.

That could not entirely be really, really

bad, but it could be super bad.

But the optimal skincare routine is the

routine that's great for your skin type.

I see this mistake so often.

No matter what level of skincare products

that you have, anything from soap, all the

way to pharmaceutical grade skincare.

If you buy the skincare that is wrong for

your skin type, it's not gonna be effective.

It will be adversely effective actually.

I have seen, and I'm not making this up.

I have seen somebody, they get into their

thirties.

They start to get a few lines, wrinkles,

that kind of thing.

Not too many, just a few just starting.

Panic ensues.

They throw away everything.

They go to the store.

They buy the most anti-aging thing they

ever have.

And then guess what they have?

Pimples.

Yep.

I believe you.

I've been guilty of trying different

products just because why not?

This is bothering me.

And I got a rash from one.

I broke out from another.

So now Vixen has me on my own little

skincare routine.

And I haven't had any issues with that,

fortunately, but you're right.

It really does come down to your, what

works for you.

Seeing what everybody else is trying and

what works for them isn't necessarily the answer.

I would say, and even from a cost

perspective, some people, they're on a budget.

I get it.

You can't afford to go to an esthetician

once a month.

But I would say, even if you go once every

three months, once every six months, and

really once every three, because your

skincare kind of starts to run out about then.

So even if you went really once every

three months,

because then they can give you a good

clean, they can reevaluate your skin every

three months, and then you're properly

buying the products that you need to buy

to help you because skincare at home is

everything.

Because I only see you, what if I see you

once a month?

That's only one day out of those 30 days,

you see you most of that time, not me.

So those skincare at home routines,

essential.

Yep.

No, I agree with you.

I very much agree with you.

And I before I started seeing you Vixen,

it had been years since I had anybody that

was doing a facial or anything for my

skin.

So we had some backtracking to do and now

I have a regular process.

Had I had that 10 years ago, you know, maybe my skin

would look a little more like yours.

So well, all right, let's talk about

something a little bit different here.

You know, we're talking about looks and

appearance.

Happy on the inside, happy on the outside.

Now, what do you have to do internally to

see a result that you're happy with externally?

You know, and I think a lot of people do

this the opposite way, that they fix that

external thing to make them feel better

internally, you know?

And sometimes it does actually help, but

it's temporary.

You know?

And I think...

One of the things about being a woman too,

is that we have to remember that not every

day we will feel the exact same way.

You know, sometimes we love ourselves and

sometimes we don't.

You know, I think that's natural.

I think from my perspective what's most

important is that search for the internal

happiness, not just doing something

externally to constantly make up for that

internal unhappiness.

I agree with you.

I see a lot of what I like to call false

happiness.

And a lot of times that is overdone.

I see.

When I say and it's going to hurt some

people's feelings, but I see everything

I mean, when I say false, false eyelashes,

false nails, false hair like.

There is nothing real about you.

Like you have so, the makeup is like this

thick.

Like there is, you covered up so much of

you to make yourself feel better.

I mean, and the hair, the hair is

pristine.

You know, it's all, you know, great.

Don't get me wrong, it's a great job.

But you have done so much covered up,

covering up like.

Are you happy with yourself?

Like, is there a you in there?

Yeah, actually, it's interesting you bring

this up because I'm jealous of people who

have that totally awesome external look.

You know, like I'm like, I want to look

that good on camera, or whatever it is, you know.

So your perspective is different for me.

Really is I, you know, I had never thought

about you, how do I?

How do I look?

Do I look natural?

Well, you know what though, after, and

this is the thing, after so long of doing

that, it becomes, like you talked about

addicting, there's a saying called hooked

on the look.

So, even if you didn't in the beginning of

your doing that, think that was odd.

What happens is after you've been doing

that for so long, you have a certain expectation now

of what you look like when you look in the

mirror.

So then when you don't have those

eyelashes on, guess what, your lashes

aren't that long, right?

So now they don't look good, but they're

your lashes, but now they don't look good.

You don't have on that makeup and your

skin, oh, now it doesn't look good because

you don't have on makeup.

You know what I mean?

You have, your hair is not pristine, it's

not done.

It's not the weave, the wig, the hair is

not done.

So now...

You have your own and it doesn't look

good.

Because now you're hooked on the look of

that everything being perfect.

So now you don't like you.

Mm-hmm.

Now that doesn't

happen to everybody.

Just saying, just wanna put that out

there.

I was just talking to Natalie yesterday at

Tres Chic about this.

We were talking about Botox.

And you know, she said, have you ever

tried that or thought of that?

And I said, Vixen’s kind of warned me, you

know, against it.

But I also, you know, understand how that

could be addicting.

Like if you see a result from it, you want

that all the time.

So you want to keep going, going and

hooked on a look.

If you go without Botox for a year, you're

going to notice it and it's going to bother you then.

Right.

And that's you, you become addicted to

that altered look.

Now, as you do your skincare, as you do

your treatments, it's a, it's a slight process.

It's a slight change.

Whereas it's not so much of a change that

you, you know, you don't recognize you.

So you're just a better version of

yourself.

You're not altering your look.

Yeah, yeah, no, I agree with you.

Well, all right, so we're almost done

here.

We're gonna -- one more thing.

So along the same line, is an investment,

you know, in your appearance self care?

Or can it go the opposite way?

Is it more vanity of self obsession?

What is that line?

No, and I think it depends on how far you

do go.

Some people do really become obsessed and

I kind of liken it to people who have eating disorders.

You know, they never feel like they're

skinny enough.

You know, for a while tanning was all the

rage, you know, and they weren't tan enough.

So I do believe that it can go way too far

because you don't know what looks good

other than what it is that you feel like

you've been doing up to this point and

it's never enough.

Well, I think there's a way to gauge that.

This is a good way to start at least to

gauge it.

If...

Let's keep the example that I had a minute

ago with the person who does all these things, right?

If you can't go to the store without it,

if you're afraid to go in public without

it, if you're afraid to present you,

You know, without all of that, at any

point, there are people that will not

leave their house, like anywhere.

I understand you're going to work, you

know, an event or whatever, you're going

to work and this is the way you look at

work, but like they can't be at home.

I know a woman literally who will not wash

her makeup off until four in the morning

when her husband is asleep and then she

puts it right back on.

Wow, now that’s some insecurity.

It is, and it can become a crutch.

So think of it this way.

If it's something that you can't live

without, you feel like you cannot go out

there and be the regular you without all

of this stuff, that means you're addicted to it.

That's a problem.

That's something you want to.

And maybe to back off of it, if you're

hearing this, you're like, you know what?

That's me.

One thing at a time.

Don't just.

Maybe we'll start with like taking off

your lashes and using mascara.

Do you know what I mean?

Something like so one thing at a time till

you get used to that.

And then maybe you can go with like

wearing less makeup, you know, so back off

of it one thing at a time to help if

you're, if this is you we're talking about.

And then that way you can start because it

is a process the brain has got to actually

remember what you look like and accept

what you...

who you are and what you look like because now

it's accepted a different thing.

That's actually a really great point.

I'm really glad you brought this up.

This is some good stuff.

Well, we are coming to the end of the

podcast and this has been such a wild ride.

We've done 19 episodes.

We just were wrapping season one.

I've enjoyed every second of it.

And we're gonna reboot season two, in the

spring.

In time, I just hope that everybody will

give us feedback.

Let us know what they wanna hear about.

And you can always follow us online with

the hashtag #LightHerProject.

In the meantime, keep it real.

Real women.

With real talk.