I’ve built my entire career around social media.
It’s how I’ve supported my family, how I’ve connected with people across the globe, and how I’ve carved out a space in our online world. But despite all the good that social media has brought into my life, there’s one thing I’m fiercely adamant about:
My kids may not have social media accounts yet.
I have a 9-year-old daughter and a 7-year-old son, and I’ve made a very intentional decision to let them live offline. Not just halfway, “with parental controls.” I mean wholly offline, because—let’s be honest—the online environment isn’t always safe or sane.
No TikTok.
No Snapchat.
No Instagram.
Not even the watered-down “kid-friendly” versions.
Yes, my kids hate my rule. Even at their young ages, they are not immune to the FOMO (fear of missing out). My 7-year-old isn't as interested in social media as my 9-year-old, who is quite aware that many kids her age are already very involved on social media.
They tell me I'm a "strict mom." They say I'm being unfair…that everyone else gets to have it. And maybe they're right. But I don't care. Because the truth is, if I could keep them off of social media forever, I would.
I know that might sound ironic or even hypocritical coming from someone who's spent the majority of her adult life in the industry. Social media has paid my bills, grown my business, and connected me with people and opportunities I never would've had otherwise. I'm grateful for it. But I also know too much.
Shedding Light on the Dark Side
I know what it feels like to get torn apart in the comments. I know the dopamine rollercoaster of likes and views and the crash and burn when the numbers don't hit. I've seen adults lose their sense of identity online, and can you imagine how much more prone kids are to that devastating consequence? They haven’t yet had an opportunity to form their identity in the first place. I know the rabbit holes of comparison, the curated lives that don't tell the full story, the trolls, the creeps, the predators, and the brain rot.
And I've made it my job to keep all of that as far away from my kids as possible.
Recently, I got a “people you may know" suggestion on TikTok, and the username caught my eye: @thisis___withlaney. It looked eerily close to my own handle, @thisislifewithlaney.
At first, I thought someone might be impersonating me. But when I clicked on the profile and saw the people who were following the account, I realized it wasn't an adult pretending to be me. It was a 9-year-old—a classmate of my daughter's, using a variation of my own username as their own.
My heart sank.
Not because they used my name (frankly, I couldn't care less about that) but because a 9-year-old child is on TikTok at all…with a public profile. And they are posting videos and navigating an app that wasn't made for them, surrounded by content and people who shouldn't have access to them.
No Judgement, Just Concern
I can’t stop thinking: Where are this kid's parents? I don't say that from a place of judgement. I say it from a place of fear. Because I've seen the other side. I've seen what happens when kids grow up online. And I've seen how easy it is for parents to hand over a phone without realizing the floodgate they've just opened.
So yes, I'm the mom who doesn't let her kids have social media.
I'm the mom who says no, again and again.
I'm the mom who enforces screen-free time, reads the privacy policies, and locks everything down.
My kids may resent me for it now, but I can live with that! What I couldn’t live with is knowing I didn't do everything I could to protect them.
I know the time will come when I have to loosen the grip—but only when they're older, more emotionally mature, and (hopefully) better equipped to handle the digital world they're stepping into.
And when I reach that juncture, I won't just hand them the phone and say "good luck." I'll teach them. I'll show them how to navigate social media with wisdom, boundaries, and a healthy dose of skepticism.
For now, though, they're living offline. And I'm 100% okay with them hating me in exchange for their safety and well-being.
One day, I know they’ll thank me for it.
Do you think there's such a thing as a "right age" for kids to be on social media? I'd love to hear your take.
