Anxiety is something everyone experiences—I'm not unique in that. However, it can feel more intense for some people than others. Growing up, I never dealt with much anxiety. When I did, it was usually tied to specific events. For instance, I’d get nervous before football games or big events. But I never lived with constant anxiety.
This past June, everything changed.
Anxiety Takes Over
We discovered my mom had a 22 cm brain tumor. I thank the Lord every day that it was benign and successfully removed. But while we were in the hospital, doctors also discovered follicular lymphoma in her abdomen. After going through the trauma of the brain tumor, the news of the lymphoma was a devastating blow. Thankfully, her lymphoma diagnosis of stage 1-2 is a low-grade cancer, and she doesn’t need treatment at this time—they’re just monitoring it. Again, I thank God every day for giving us something we can manage.
With all that happening at once, you’d expect I would have been stressed out. I was, but I didn’t feel it in the moment. I was so focused on my mom’s health and doing whatever I could to help her get better that I pushed my own feelings aside.
I thought I was handling things. But months later, when my mom was doing well, my body started reacting. I began experiencing panic attacks and other physical symptoms of anxiety.
I read that when your body is in fight-or-flight mode for too long, your nervous system can reach a breaking point. I guess mine did. The symptoms started with a racing heart, dizziness, trembling, and so much more. After the panic attacks, I would feel even worse until the effects subsided days later.
I had never gone through anything like it before, so I called my doctor. After tests, a heart monitor, and a consultation with a cardiologist, I was told my heart was fine. My doctor prescribed medication to take as needed, but it didn’t help much, and I still had panic attacks. Frustrated, I reached out to my doctor again, and she put me on a daily medication. I also started seeing a therapist.
Managing Panic While On the Road
So, why am I sharing all of this? Because during the worst anxiety of my life, I had a work trip to Utah coming up. It was my first time traveling out West, and I’d be going alone.
It’s safe to say that a lot of my anxiety was tied to this trip. I was scared, but I was determined not to let anxiety win. They say the best way to face your fears is to confront them head-on, and that’s exactly what I did.
Step one: Getting on a plane to meet Laney Goff, the EVP of #Strella, before the second and third legs of my flight. ✔️
Step two: Making it through the next two flights without a panic attack. Unfortunately, I didn’t get through the last flight without one. If you’ve ever been on a plane, you know how the lack of fresh air can make anxiety worse. Fortunately, Laney helped me breathe through it. ✔️(sort of)
Step 3: Acing our big meeting with BYUtv, our biggest client. Although my role in the meeting was small, my anxiety was high. However, I got through it, and I actually did well. I’m proud of myself—really proud. ✔️
Moving Forward With Hope
I still have anxiety. It hasn’t just disappeared. But I now know that even with anxiety, I can achieve anything I set my mind to. One Bible verse that I turn to over and over again is Philippians 4:13: “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” It reminds me in moments of doubt and fear that I am strong—stronger than anxiety—and that through Christ, I can face anything that comes my way.
