They say smooth seas do not make good sailors. If that is the truth, then I can probably captain a cruise ship at this point. I get it; change is inevitable. However, navigating through tumultuous changes can be a treacherous path. It is not linear. It is not smooth. And it certainly is not something I would wish on even my worst enemy. However, navigating life’s roughest waters is a necessary evil if you are looking to evolve as a human.
If you have read anything I’ve written over the past nine months, then you already know I lost three very close family members in rapid succession during the final six months of the year. You may not know that I also moved from my beloved home to be closer to family and changed my career after 23 years. So, if you want advice about any possible life change, I probably have some to give.
Grief
Grief has been, well, a process. One day, I am fine, relishing in the happier memories. The next, I am an absolutely tragic mess. I miss my dad, my Pop Pop, and my uncle terribly, but I cannot spend every day bogged down in sadness. So, what do I do? I rally. Every day, I pick myself up by my bootstraps and do things I don’t really want to do. I survive.
Career Transition
On top of experiencing monumental grief, I decided that 2023 was the year I would finally leave my job and move on. My career at the surgery center where I worked was amazing. The people with whom I connected over my 23 years there were exceptional human beings, and I would not trade those experiences for anything in the world. However, I wanted a position that was simpler, would allow me to work remotely, and was something fresh and new.
So I did it. I found a new job working in a slightly different level of patient care that is a little closer to some of the action.
I hated it.
During my first week, I left every day in tears, and my mom had to talk me off the ledge. I wanted to quit. Plus, the 12-hour days were excruciating after working a cushy schedule for over two decades.
But after some time, do you know what happened?
I started to really enjoy the work.
I was paired with an excellent trainer, and I leaned into it. I still don’t love the 12-hour shifts, but I like having three days off a week instead of only two.
New Home
On top of everything that 2023 threw my way, my mom and I talked about some logistical stuff, and we decided it would be beneficial for me to come and live with her for a year, plus or minus a few months. She wanted someone to be in the house with her so it didn’t feel as empty.
As my neighborhood has been becoming increasingly less desirable, I figured it was a great time to sell my very hot property in my township. So, I made the move.
I packed some stuff in my hatchback car and gradually started moving into my mom’s house. She has an in-law's quarter in her walk-out basement, so I have a lot of privacy and space (more so than my first apartment on my own). Still, It has been an adjustment for both of us. I am extremely independent, and my mom misses my dad. We have butted heads, but we’ve also discovered newfound common ground. We’ve started binge-watching The West Wing, and we split the cooking responsibilities about 60/40. We are enjoying getting to know each other again in a completely different dynamic.
Perseverance
Navigating life’s changes is never easy. Change is always difficult — and, at times, freaking brutal. However, stagnancy, unhappiness, and discontent are worse. I encourage you to roll with the punches, try something different, and make big moves. Yes, it may be terrifying, but I believe you’ll find it soooo gratifying in the end.
