Drawing Your Map by Experience and Intuition

PODCAST TRANSCRIPT

Welcome to the Light Her Project Podcast,

Real Women.

Real talk.

I'm Rachel Strella.

And I'm Vixen Divine.

Welcome, welcome.

So this is season two, episode eight.

So we've done a lot of episodes so far.

I'm actually recording on a Sunday because

I have a busy week coming down the pipe

and it's a Father's Day.

So happy Father's Day to everybody out

there.

Yeah.

So I mean, it's early in the week, but

how's your week going so far, Vixen?

Well, we got a good Father's Day planned

for my hubby and some of his gifts, like

my son, since he's a chef, well guess

who's cooking dinner, cooking his

favorite, you know, that sort of thing.

And got some little prizes, little hints

that my husband drops, you know.

They pick up those hints and make like

little prizes out of them for him.

So.

We'll be doing a little treasure hunt

later.

Well I hope you had a nice day.

We will. Yeah.

Well I met with my dad last night.

He came over and we made a nice steak

dinner.

The weather's been beautiful.

So, we sat outside on the deck, grilled.

It was great.

But, there's always a but.

My poor kitty went missing a week ago.

He ran out.

He somehow busted through the screen and I

haven't seen him since.

Well, actually I have seen him once.

But he has not come home.

So...

I'm hopeful that he'll make it home.

I know that the odds are not looking good

after a week.

So, you know, trying to be hopeful but not

too hopeful.

You know, like, I for about five days

straight, I got up in the middle of the

night for hours and called him and I was

death on a stick.

Like you really need sleep.

No more getting up in the middle of the

night.

Like I have three traps, I hope they'll do

the work or, you know, I'm still calling

for him before I go to bed, but I can't

stay up all night and do that.

Well I hope he's out partying and

then he just gets tired of it.

He's finding out what the world is like

and he's like, no, this sucks.

I'm going home.

So I'm hoping he just shows up that way.

Sure hope so, that little bugger, he's a

trouble, he's grounded if he does come home.

He's in trouble.

Well, our topic today is a really

interesting one, Drawing Your Map by

Experience and Intuition.

So what kind of helped us get to this

topic?

Our very first podcast, we talked about a

map.

Which was essentially Vixen's description

of perspectives, you know, how people can

comment on things from their knowledge

pool.

And they draw from that pool and assume

that everybody else is in the same pool,

but not always.

No, not at all.

We started off by taking an intuition

survey.

It's an interactive quiz.

So if you want to go to the survey, it's

tryinteract.com.

And you can find it-- it's two minutes.

You don't need an email or anything like

that, so.

I'm going to guess you faired very well.

What do you think, Vixen?

Well...It may have said something like my

intuition was strong.

Mm-hmm.

Yep.

It was, it's strong and it actually

congratulated me for having a strong intuition.

I actually did too.

So this is probably one of the first quizzes that

we've taken where we had the same score

There you go Rach, there you go!

Yes!

Well you know what, though?

Listen to your gut, right?

If you listen to your gut, that's a big

thing.

And if you, you know, people match your

energy, if you feel that energy, like, you

listen to that, that's big.

And I know you do that.

So I'm not surprised that you have some

intuition there.

I think that you and I are on the same page, which

is why we work well together, you know,

and there you have to be in that same pool

to kind of get it.

Well, all right, let's start with what is

intuition exactly?

I mean, what do you think, Vixen?

Well, intuition is a lot, it's not

exclusive to humans.

Intuition is something that, it's bred,

it's born into you.

It's that little thing that tells you you

shouldn't do that or you should do that.

That little thing that says, this is

dangerous.

You need to back away from this.

But the problem with humans is,

we don't always listen to that.

We are the only animals that don't listen

to that.

Don't follow our

instincts all the time!

They don't.

Why?

Because we think we can do better.

Yep, we humans can't get out of our own

way, can we?

That's the truth, that is absolutely true.

And that is what intuition is, that gut

feeling that's telling you something is

wrong or something's not right, or it's

that little hmm, that's telling you that.

But no, he can change girl, right?

Or it's not so bad or --

Or I didn't need that business so I'll

just look past that, you know, I get it.

You know, I've been in meetings with

clients where, perspective clients, where

something was off.

Like we're not seeing eye to eye, you

know, and you just have that feeling like,

I don't know, this doesn't feel good.

And you don't want to tell somebody, well,

I don't feel good, so bye.

But in the animal world, it's different.

They don't like another cat.

So as humans though, we have these

niceties, these things that you don't want

to come off the wrong way.

So you're like, sure, we can help you with

that.

But you know, in your gut, it's not

feeling good.

Absolutely, absolutely.

But for intuition's sake, it's one of

those things that I think with more

experience that you have, the more you

know when something's not right.

Sometimes when you're younger or less

experienced, you're actually a little naive.

And you may believe that, this

This doesn't have to be, this can happen,

this can change, this can, you know.

But you know my saying, when somebody

shows you who they are, believe them.

Totally.

And I totally believe you there and I

follow that.

I really do.

I mean, so okay, we already know that

experience is part of this.

But do you think that everyone has

intuition?

Yes, everyone has intuition.

It's whether they're in tune enough to

recognize it or whether they also, if

they're that way, if they are in tune, do

they choose to ignore it?

Sometimes I've noticed this a lot as

women.

We are so...

into, and this is generally speaking, the

social norms of what's expected of us.

If, especially in relationships, if we

don't quite fit those social norms and we

get someone that is interested in us,

maybe for not so much the right reasons,

and our intuition may say that, but we...

things we can change, then we think, it'll

be OK, that sort of thing.

Because we may be afraid that we can't get

anyone else.

Because our self -esteem is low, even

though you can see the, what do they say, the red flags.

If you don't recognize the red flag,

if you're that person who doesn't recognize

or doesn't want to see the red flags, or

your girlfriend's telling you, you know him.

Something's wrong.

Yeah.

Yeah.

You know, that is also a sign that is a

sign that you do have it.

You have it.

You just don't want to use it.

Yeah, I think that, go back to that

niceties thing, you know, I think that as

women we're polite, you know, even if you

don't, something doesn't feel right,

you're not going to say it.

Right because you're polite.

Yes.

Well, I mean, let's talk about intuition

versus logic.

There is a difference here.

I feel like intuition is a little more

subjective.

It's something you feel, you know, it is

intuitive.

Yes.

Logic, well, is logic.

So you've probably heard people, you know, who

are like, the street smart or not street

smart or the book smart.

I know he's not listening, but so I'm

going to say it.

My husband always says that his brother

is the dumbest smart kid he knows because

he's got the book smarts, but the street

smarts went out the window somewhere in that.

I kind of really, I think that's kind of

the intuition versus logic too.

Yeah, some people, they need... The logic

person is about the numbers.

They're about the facts.

They're about the straightforward.

This is written on paper.

This is the way it is.

Whereas intuition being intuitive, it is

that gut feeling.

It doesn't matter what the paper says at

all.

Right.

It is about what you feel.

So those are two different types of

things.

And the logic can be there and it can be

straight, perfect on paper, perfect on paper.

But that doesn't mean the person with a great

logical explanation of their life is not a psychopath.

Right.

Absolutely.

And then there are the people who

just don't get it.

That's the way I feel.

They just don't get it.

Yeah.

They're just not firing on all pistons

like there.

Something's just off.

And sometimes this is where you have to

recognize that they don't get it.

Right.

Right.

You're not going to change them.

They're not going to, they're just not

going to get it.

Right, unless there's a couple of things

that have to happen.

First of all, they have to recognize that

they're not firing on all cylinders.

And second, they have to want to change

that.

So they want to get more information on

how they can change.

You can't do it.

Because I do feel like intuition has

something to do with intelligence.

I do.

Yes, experience too.

You don't have to be the most intelligent

person if you've been around.

Right.

You got something else to work off of.

You know, you may not have read that the

railroad came right through here, but if

you lived there or if you've been to that

place and you saw that the railroad been

through here,

then you can put on your map that you know

the railroad moves through here.

Yes, totally agree.

You couldn't have said it better, really.

I think that the experience is part of the

intelligence that comes, like, that

they're all, it's all combined.

You need that base, that foundation.

Do you think that women are more likely to

be intuitive?

I mean, I certainly do.

Yes, there is women generally have that

because, for example, men, like when a

baby is born, women can hear the baby

completely asleep.

But, I want to say the stat is 70%

more like we're honed in 70% more.

than I think a man is honed in like 30%

to hear that baby because we are trained,

like we are built to hear that, if that

makes any sense.

it totally does.

I mean, I'm a cat mom.

You know, I know when my cat is gonna come

out for the food hungry.

You know, I know when my cat isn't feeling

well or upset.

I just know.

Whereas my husband could be there watching

TV, doing whatever he's doing, have no

clue what the cat's up to or how the cat's

feeling.

I know, I know my cat, you know,

something's wrong.

Just know.

You feel it.

You know it's in your gut, right?

And you can tell those little movements

that are different.

Mm -hmm.

Yes.

You sense it.

Yes, absolutely.

Exactly, exactly.

So that builds up and that those things

that you're sensing, those things that

you're building are all on your map.

Now they're not on your map if you one

never experienced it or two never like

some people professionally experienced

like they're a doctor.

like they see that all the time.

So they know like that's on their map

because they know what's gonna happen

because they've seen these patients over

and over again.

So that's another way to build on your map

too.

That's an experience -based map.

But either way, they're perfectly good

maps.

But the problem is when you have a map, no

one's map is complete.

But when you have a map and you think that

your map is everyone else's map.

That's probably a big part of what's wrong

with the world.

I mean, look at politics alone.

People have a really one way of thinking

and they think that everybody else has to

think that way and if they don't, they're

wrong.

That's not a solid map.

Right, to be able to have a discussion

about knowing you have different views,

which is fine to have different views,

free thinkers, not a problem.

However, you have to be able to bring your

points, bring them together so we can come

up for a solid solution.

And you know what, along the line of

politics, why do we have separate parties anyway?

We're one America.

Why exactly?

Don't get me started.

Is that another podcast?

Because I never, we go into it with

division.

We got the Democrats, we got the

Republicans, we go in with division.

Right! Right!

Why?

I mean, that you're 100% right.

That's kind of antiquated when you think

about it.

But we're all supposed to be coming

together and they're already dividing us

right there.

Yeah, it doesn't help.

It's not helpful.

Not at all.

Okay, so how can you tell if your map is

equally matched with the person you're

talking to?

Okay, so when you usually even without a

map when you're talking to someone and it

does not have to be in person you can hear

this.

You can just be typing depending on their

answers.

It's a matter of when you say for instance

the sky is blue and their reply is

Oh yes, the sky is blue, but I saw it was

green yesterday.

See that look on your face?

Yep, exactly.

That should tell you right there that your

maps are not equally matched.

Yes.

So you get things like that.

You're talking to someone and in their

replies, in their speaking to you, they're

just not getting.

They're not getting it.

They're not on the same wavelength at all.

You know, they're just not understanding

whatever the subject matter.

They're not understanding their end of the

conversation.

Right.

Right.

And in that instance, that's where I kind

of cut that conversation short.

Exactly.

After you recognize that, then it's your

fault if you keep talking to them.

I mean, it's like banging your head

against a brick wall to solve a headache.

Exactly!

So you should know better.

Like as the one with apparently more things on

your map, now you're supposed to know better.

You're supposed to know, okay, time to end

this conversation.

At the same time when you do align with somebody

you know who's on your wavelength then

you just don't shut up I feel like you,

you found like it's like a magnet you

found a person that gets it and you're

just like--

But that's a fun time!

That's a fun time

Except if you're the spouse

waiting to go somewhere and

I'm still talking to the person

that aligned with my map, so.

Look, get their Facebook, get their phone

number, you know, move on, talk later.

But it always feels good when you have

that, you know, it does.

Because you don't find that you don't find a lot

of people in this world who really, really

align with your map.

Very true, very true.

So when you find one...

You hang on to them.

You're like, all right, all right, let's

Facebook me, email me, message me, yeah.

So, okay, let's talk about a time when

maybe we had an intuition, you know, and

what happened.

Like, a good intuition.

And how did that feel?

Like, can you think of a specific time

that's happened to you?

I can.

I can think of a time and you know and

it's a strange feeling because when you

have these things you don't know how the

other person is going to receive it.

If you're-- okay so it could be something

that you feel like something you know but

then do you tell them?

Right.

Or is it already assumed if you're on the

same map?

Right?

Well, see, this is an intuition you get

that I got from someone I didn't know.

It was about someone I never met.

And the energy was just there, and I knew.

And so I elected that I was going to tell

her.

And I said to her, now, I don't know how

this applies to you.

But I can feel that you're going through

something.

Now, I want you to know it's gonna be

fine.

I see that you're on the end of the

proverbial cliff.

You don't need to jump off.

You're gonna be fine, just back away.

That's all I'm saying to you.

You take that as you will, and we're gonna

move on.

Well, the funny part about that that I

didn't know.

Was that person was a friend of my boss at

the time.

But you never met before?

Never met.

And the reason that it was a good thing

was because she told my boss, like they

talked about it, but I was absolutely

correct.

And it's just sometimes I get these things

like this, like I pretty much know I've

been in, I have served so many people and

I don't know if it's because of

experience, but I have served so many

people.

It usually takes me just a couple of

minutes before I already know.

Yes, yeah.

There's something there.

Yeah, I am totally with you.

I can think of so many instances.

But what I really think about right now,

though, is you've been in a situation

where the energy in the room is off.

Like.

It is off and you're in the room and I

experienced this a lot because I work in

the virtual world and I'll come into a

zoom, you know, with a client and a whole

team of people and something's off in the

room.

It's almost like, are they not awake yet?

Do they not care what we're saying?

But it's like, we're here, we're talking

and they're just like, you know,

Uh huh, uh huh.

That energy is just, I don't even have to be in

the same room to feel that energy.

There's just not that synergy.

You know, I'm curious if you've ever had

that and like maybe how you've handled it

because I know for me, it's like,

especially if it's in a client situation.

I still smile, do my job, but like, why is

the energy so bad?

Like what is going on?

And it usually has nothing to do with you.

Right right, oh absolutely.

It's still awkward.

It is, it feels weird, it does feel weird.

So what I do is I change my tone.

I'm that person who paid attention in that

class because I'm going to now mirror you.

I am going to mirror what you're doing.

So I'm going to tone myself down,

and I'm going to take a extremely business

-like approach.

I am not going to be me.

I am going to be business.

And I'm going to do my job to that level.

And that is what I'm going to do because

this-- not going to put any of the Vixen

spin on it.

I am just going to do my job.

I'm going to do it.

I'm going to speak in that tone.

I am going to be super professional.

And that's where we're going to go.

That's what we're going to be.

Yep, been there, done that many times.

It's hard when you're in a situation too

where it's like a family or friends and family.

Just in a situation where a group of

people and the energy's off.

I mean, I really limit my interactions

when that happens because if I start to

open my mouth, I'm only gonna make it

worse.

I'm not gonna break it.

Can you narrow it down to one person?

Like in that, if you know it's one person

or is it like the whole group acting that way?

It's usually like a whole group.

You know, I'm thinking about a specific

instance, like.

I, that must be how they, they jive, you

know, but like, when I'm in a group of

people, I like to acknowledge them and

they acknowledge me like they're gonna go

be on their phones, doing their own thing.

And I'll be like, hey, you know, it's

like, nobody cares.

You know, and that's like, it's the

weirdest thing.

And I was just like, okay, something feels

really off.

So I'm just gonna shut up.

So almost you feel like an outsider.

Yeah.

Okay, okay.

So how I would handle that if I got into a

room and like everybody's doing their

thing, like around me, so to speak, then

I'd probably leave the room.

I got other things to do.

I can find other things to do.

You know what?

I think I'll pretend that I'm a smoker

next time that happens.

I need a smoke break.

I take smoke breaks.

I don't smoke at all.

But why do they get an extra 15 minutes?

I'm taking the smoke break.

Sometimes I wish I was a smoker. It's a convenient way

to excuse yourself without being rude.

I don't smoke at all, but I'm taking the

smoke.

I have taken the smoke break.

No, don't smoke at all.

Oh man, this was a fun topic.

We could go on for days about this, but we

have a couple more topics lined up that I

think will be intriguing.

And I hope everybody stays tuned.

And I just want to thank everyone for

tuning in to the Light Her Project Podcast.

I've heard so many good things, so much

great feedback, and I really appreciate our listeners.

And you could follow the conversation

online with our hashtag.

So in the meantime, keep it real.

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